


Every Ending is a Beginning

by frecklesarechocolate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e16 Dark Side of the Moon, Episode: s07e10 Death's Door, Episode: s09e07 Bad Boys, Fluff and Angst, Heaven, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklesarechocolate/pseuds/frecklesarechocolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean dies and ends up in heaven with Cas. This is the story of what happens next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Ending is a Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [takadainmate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/takadainmate/gifts).



Dean dies on a Thursday.

It's peaceful, and when Death himself comes to collect Dean, he just shakes Death's hand and lets him lead the way. Dean's been tired and in pain for so long. It's time.

He's not surprised when he shows up in heaven, behind the wheel of the Impala. It's been years since she's been roadworthy, but he'd kept her in the bunker garage, and he kept her up as best he could.

As he aged, though, it became more difficult to maintain her, and she fell into disrepair.

"I'm sorry, baby," he says now, caressing the steering wheel. The key's in the ignition, so he turns it. He's not surprised when the engine roars to life with a rumbling purr. "That's my girl," he croons. He looks out the front windshield and sees the road ahead - the axis mundi - and is about to put the car into gear and head out when a deep voice speaks up.

"She sounds good," Cas says. Dean looks at his friend, seated in the car next to him, and he grins. He'd been a little surprised that Cas wasn't there when he'd first arrived, but then, Dean figures that when it comes to dying, time works in funny ways.

"Yeah, she does," Dean replies. "It's good to see you, Cas." And it is. Cas looks the same as he always has, rumpled bed head and all. The slightly too large suit, askew tie and trench coat are back, and Dean can admit to himself that he missed seeing Cas in it, even after all these years. No matter the number of days Dean saw Cas in a t-shirt and jeans, it never looked right to Dean. Cas just wasn't Cas without the coat. “Wasn’t the same down there without you.”

"You too, Dean." Cas returns Dean's smile. "Where are you headed?" Cas gestures to the road beyond the Impala, lit only by her headlights.

Dean shrugs. "Thought I'd go that way for a little bit, see what I can see. You want to come with?"

"Of course," Cas replies.

Dean puts the car in gear and presses his foot to the gas. He's a bit heavier on the gas than usual, but, because this is his heaven, the car responds gently. Dean guesses that he doesn't even need to steer the car, that she would drive herself, but he can't stop years of habit, and so he keeps one hand on the wheel. He slings the other over the back of the seat, and his fingers come to rest on the seat back just above Cas's shoulder.

They're quiet as they drive, content just to be in each other's presence, although Dean can't help but steal glances at his friend out of the corner of his eye. It's easy, sitting next to each other like this, easy in ways that it never was when they were alive. Something at the back of Dean's mind itches at this, a memory of something long ago forgotten, something that might be important. It's just out of reach, though, and so Dean mentally shrugs it off.

The road is empty on both sides of them, a great void beyond the windows of the Impala, until they come around one sharp bend. A large Victorian house sits back on acres of land, large old growth oaks scattered about the landscape. Off to one side is a barn, one of the doors swinging open in a slight breeze. Dean slows the Impala, and then she comes to a stop just at the driveway to the house. A sign sits by the side of the road, "Sonny's Home for Boys."

Cas raises an eyebrow. "Do you want to get out?"

Dean hesitates, uncertain, but his body makes the decision for him. His hand reaches for the door handle and opens the door before he has the chance to even register the movement. Cas follows him out of the car. Though they never would have done so in life, Dean and Cas's hands find each other, and they thread their fingers together. Cas squeezes Dean’s hand, and they head up the front walk side by side.

Dean taps on the door. Thundering feet sound behind it, a young voice hollering, "I'll get it!" The door opens, and standing before Dean and Cas is a much younger, slightly shorter Dean. His hair is darker and the bangs flop in his eyes; just a touch too long. The young man stares back at Dean and then grins at him. "Hey. Thought you'd never make it." He opens the door wide and Dean and Cas follow him into the hallway.

The younger Dean waves at the sitting room just off the side of the hallway. "Have a seat, I'll see if Sonny's around." He hesitates, his eyes flickering down to where Dean and Cas's hands are joined together. "You want something to drink?" Both Dean and Cas shake their heads, and younger Dean looks disappointed, like he'd wanted an excuse to come back and talk to the older Dean. But he shrugs and heads off into the depths of the house.

Dean and Cas sit on the ratty old couch in the sitting room, and Cas takes in the room around them. The furniture is worn, upholstery threadbare in some spots. The wallpaper is faded, particularly where the sun hits it from where it shines through the window. The couch itself is a bit lumpy, the cushions unevenly worn, so Cas and Dean tilt toward each other as they sit together. Though the room is worn out, it's clean, dust free and fresh smelling.

When Cas remarks on this, Dean smiles. "Sonny divided up chores so everyone had to clean one room of the house and had responsibility to some part of the outdoors," he explains, and Cas nods in understanding.

"D-dog!" A man's voice booms from the entryway, and the grin on Dean's face widens. Dean gets up, letting go of Cas's hand reluctantly, and he engulfs the newcomer in a rib-cracking hug.

"Hey Sonny." Dean gestures to Cas. "This is my friend, Cas."

Sonny holds out his hand to Cas, who grips it and shakes it solemnly. He can tell that Sonny is taking his measure, testing out Cas's strength through the handshake, and also eyeing him up and down. He grunts when the handshake is over, letting Cas's hand fall. Cas thinks he passed whatever test it was, but he's not entirely sure.

"It's good to see you, Dean. It's been a long time," Sonny says, clapping Dean on the shoulder. "Sit, sit." Sonny gestures to the couch, and Dean and Cas sit again. Dean again reaches for Cas's hand.

They talk. Cas mostly listens, not really able to contribute to the conversation, but eager to learn more about Dean from Dean's perspective. It's one thing to know someone on a deep, profound level in the way that Cas knows Dean. That their bond is special is without doubt. However, there's something to be said for getting to know someone as they perceive themselves, and Cas soaks in the environment and the camaraderie that Dean shares with Sonny.

Before too long, the sound of incoherent yelling followed by the tinkling of breaking glass interrupts them. The sudden silence indicates something has gone very wrong, and Sonny gets up. "I have to deal with that," he says, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. Dean nods and stands himself, hugging Sonny again.

"Thanks, Sonny." Dean hesitates, and then adds, "For everything."

Sonny holds onto Dean a little longer than is necessary before letting him go. His last words are for Cas, though. "You take care of him."

Cas nods, taking the charge seriously. "I always have."

Sonny regards Cas for a moment, and then says, "Yes, I can see that." He's prevented from saying anything else as furious shouting erupts from upstairs again. Sonny leaves the sitting room with an apology on his lips. Dean takes a long look at the room, and then leads Cas back out of the house.

Dean looks at the house for a long time before getting back into the car and driving off, Cas by his side. Cas doesn't say much the entire time, more interested in watching Dean than anything else. He's a bit puzzled by the experience, but if there's anything that they have right now, it's time. They have all the time in the world, the universe, really.

* * *

 

Their next stop is a familiar one for Cas, or at least, the building is familiar. Bobby's house rises up out of the horizon, and once again, they pull into the driveway and park. Dean's grinning now, and he leaps from the car almost as soon as it's turned off. He doesn't even wait for Cas to follow him, and he bounds up the steps. Rather than knocking, he just opens the front door and steps inside.

Inside the house it smells of apple pie, and there's soft laughter from the kitchen. "Karen," Dean says quietly to Cas, who just nods. Dean raises his voice and says, "Bobby!"

"What the –" Bobby says from the kitchen, and he pokes his head through the doorway. As soon as he sees who it is, he breaks into a huge smile and hugs Dean. They hold onto each other for a little while, much longer than they would have in life, and then Bobby's hugging Cas, too. Cas hugs Bobby back, pleased to be included in the warm welcome. Dean's hugging Karen, and she looks up at him with bright eyes.

"Damn, boy, it's about time you showed up," Bobby says. He leads them into the kitchen, where, sure enough, there's an apple pie cooling on the counter.

Dean points at the pie. "Don't suppose I could have a slice, could I?" But he needn't have asked, because Karen's already pulling plates out of the cupboard and cutting up two enormous pieces, which she places in front of Dean and Cas. Dean makes obscene noises as he eats the pie, eyes rolling in pleasure as the flavors burst on his tongue. For his part, Cas has to stop eating his own slice for a moment just to take in the sight of Dean enjoying the pie.

Bobby catches Cas watching Dean and he smirks. "Some things don't change, do they?" Cas shakes his head, returning Bobby's smile.

Turns out Bobby's been here ever since Sam managed to return his soul to heaven. He arrived on his own doorstep, and, nervous at what he'd find when he opened the door, he'd stepped into his house and right into the arms of his wife. He's had no reason to leave ever since. He did confide that occasionally he relives memories of spending time with Dean and Sam - playing catch, watching movies together - but for the most part, he and Karen are just here, together. Dean has to clear his throat a few times as Bobby talks, surreptitiously trying to wipe his eyes.

"Don't be an idjit," Bobby says when he catches Dean. "I'm happy."

Dean nods. "I know, Bobby." He reaches out and grasps Karen's hand, squeezing lightly. "I'm glad."

"Sam?" Bobby asks after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Married, kids. Grandkids. He's spoiling the grandkids something awful," Dean replies. Bobby snorts with laughter, but now his own eyes are bright with unshed tears.

"And you?" Bobby asks. He looks from Dean to Cas and back to Dean again.

The looks aren't lost on Dean, who smiles back at Bobby. "No one in life." He shrugs. "We'll see."

As if pushed by something, Dean decides it's time to go. They end the visit with more hugs all around, Bobby and Dean again holding on tightly.

"Don't be a stranger, ya idjit," Bobby says. "Come back any time." His expression is stern as he looks at Cas. "Both of ya."

They leave before the visit can get too much more emotional, although Dean takes a few extra minutes sitting at the wheel of the Impala, breathing in and out deeply. He sniffs loudly and starts up the car, driving away slowly.

* * *

 

Cas isn't sure how long they do this, traveling from one place to the next, meeting up with dead friends and having reunions. The list of names goes on and on - far too long, really. And most of the dead are people that Dean lost when he was a young man.

Cas is not at all surprised by the last person on the list, a list that's known only to Dean. Cas doesn't know how he's aware of the fact that this is the last person they'll visit together, but somehow he does. There's a finality about the way in which the Impala rolls to a stop in front of the small house with the tiny front yard.

It takes Dean a long time to get up and out of the car. When he does, he immediately comes to Cas's side and grabs Cas's hand again.

"Come on, there's someone I want you to meet," Dean says, and he walks up the front steps. His knock on the front door is a touch hesitant.

Footsteps behind the door, and then it opens to reveal a woman with long blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her face lights up the second she sees Dean, and she pulls him into a fierce hug before he has the chance to say anything.

They hold each other for a long time, and Cas can hear sniffles from the both of them. He knows who this is, doesn't really need the introduction, but when Dean finally breaks away from the woman, he says, "Mom, this is Cas. Cas, this is my mom, Mary." He sounds shy, like he's uncertain of how Mary and Cas will get along.

"Hi, Cas," Mary says, and Cas returns the greeting. They're still in the doorway of the house, but that doesn't seem to matter. Mary looks Cas up and down, taking his measure before hugging him and whispering in his ear, "Thank you for taking care of my son."

Cas wants to say that he doesn't deserve her thanks, that there are so many times when he could have done a better job of looking after Dean. He wants to tell her that he's sorry for all the times that he caused Dean pain, or had a hand in harming Dean and Sam in some way. But every time he opens his mouth to do so, Mary just gives him a sharp look, stopping him from saying anything at all.

As with Bobby's house, this one also smells of apple pie, with an undercurrent of something else, something that Cas had always associated with Dean. He thinks it might just be a Winchester scent - gunpowder, oil and leather on top of something spicy.

Despite the enormous slices of pie they'd eaten at Bobby's, Dean's hungry again, and he eagerly settles down in front of yet another slice of apple pie, this time made by Mary. She watches him eat for a while, a soft smile on her face. As if she can't help herself, she reaches out to cup his face with her hand, or ruffle his hair. He blushes furiously as she does, but doesn't stop her from doing it. In fact, each time she touches him, he leans into the gesture a bit, eyes closing slightly.

Cas should feel like a third wheel here, the spare that doesn't belong, but for some reason, he doesn't. It's not a memory - in fact none of the people they've visited so far have been memories, but the actual people themselves. Their own heavens created around them, but still happy enough to see Dean that they didn't mind stepping out of that space even for a little while. If this is Dean's final stop, Cas wonders if Dean will stay here with his mother. And if he does, Cas wonders what that means for him - will he have to move on and find his own heaven? While these thoughts swirl around Cas's brain - he's still trying to figure out how he feels about all of this - Mary helps to answer at least one of Cas's questions.

"Are you going to stay?" she asks Dean. She tries to keep the hope out of her question, but she leans forward, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Dean hesitates, and her face falls as she realizes his answer. "No. Cas and I have somewhere we have to go," Dean says. "But we'll come visit."

Cas raises an eyebrow at Dean's use of the plural - as if Dean has plans that he hasn't let Cas know about. Mary tries to smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She tilts her head for a moment, though, and they heard the sound of multiple pairs of small running feet.

"Who –" Dean asks.

"It's you. And Sammy," Mary answers. "This is my heaven after all." She stands. "I'd better make sure they're not tearing the house apart." Childish giggling wafts down the stairwell.

Another long hug, Mary's face buried in Dean's neck, one of Dean's large hands cupping the back of her head. "I love you, Mom," he says, and she huffs a laugh even as tears stream down her face.

"Go on outside for a minute, Dean. I want to talk to Cas." She kisses Dean's forehead, and he obeys, looking over his shoulder several times as he leaves the house.

"You love my son," Mary says, and it's not a question.

"I am an angel." Cas corrects himself. " _Was_ an angel. I love all of humanity."

Mary shakes her head. "No. You're in love with my son. I can see it in how you look at him. But you think he doesn't love you."

Rather than denying it, Cas just nods. There's little sense in lying.

Mary's face softens, and she takes Cas's hand. "Oh, Castiel. You couldn't be more wrong. Why do you think he brought you here?" Cas doesn't attempt to give an answer - he has none. Mary clearly hadn't meant for him to answer the question though. "He wanted me to meet you."

"It was a test?" Cas asks, fumbling towards some kind of realization.

Mary laughs. "No, Cas, not a test. A declaration. When a man brings the person he loves to meet his mother, that means something. He wants his new family to meet his old one. Wants to show you off, maybe get my approval."

Cas's stomach swoops violently as he listens to Mary speak. He doesn't quite believe her, not really, because it's not like Dean's said anything. Yes, he's been by Dean's side for years - decades now - and yes, they've been together on this journey through heaven. Cas has yet to see Dean's heaven, that place where Dean wants to spend eternity.

And Dean hasn't said anything to Cas about any of this.

Cas opens his mouth to say something along those lines, and Mary hushes him. She cups his face between her warm palms. "Make him happy. And bring him back to see me often." A crash from upstairs diverts her attention, and she sighs. "I have to see what those two are up to. They're quite the handful. Go."

She leaves Cas alone in her kitchen. Inhaling deeply, Cas goes outside to meet Dean.

* * *

 

Dean's leaning against the Impala when Cas comes outside, and he grins at his friend. Cas takes another fortifying breath and joins Dean at the curb.

"Where to next, Dean?" Cas asks.

"Our place, Cas," Dean replies. "Come on." He pushes off the side of the car and walks around the front of it. The door creaks loudly when Dean opens it. Cas takes a moment to wonder why, even here in heaven, where the car could be perfect, this recreation of the Impala still has doors that squeak and groan when they're opened and closed. "You coming?" Dean asks through the open window.

Cas nods and gets in next to Dean. It's like putting on a favorite pair of jeans - he slides in and feels perfectly at home by Dean's side. "Where are we going, Dean?"

Dean shrugs. "Not sure. I'll know it when I see it."

They drive for what seems like hours, but also only feels like minutes. They pass several houses, none of which look familiar to Cas, but they hold some kind of meaning for Dean. He slows down in front of each of the houses, but rejects them based on some criteria known only to him.

Finally, they crest a hill, and Dean says, "Ahh," a long exhale of satisfaction. Cas peers out the windshield and tries to figure out what it is that Dean's found that meets with his approval, but at first there's nothing. Then he sees it. Trees surround an old brick structure, their leaves the bright green of spring. When the entrance comes into view, Cas suddenly recognizes where they are.

"This is the bunker," he says, wonder lacing his voice.

"Yeah. Home, Cas." Dean parks the car and they get out. Standing in front of the doorway, Dean reaches out to grab Cas's hand again. "Come on, let's go in."

But Cas stays still, letting their arms stretch out. "Cas?"

"I don't understand, Dean." Cas's voice is flat.

Dean returns to Cas's side. "This is it, Cas. My.... No, _our_ heaven. At least, I think it's ours. I'm pretty sure." Dean moves closer to Cas as he speaks, until Cas's back is flush against the passenger door of the Impala. He's surrounded by Dean - the solid wall of muscle, the scent of him, and Cas's mouth dries up. He can't think of what to say, so he stands there, mute.

"I was too much of a coward to say this when we were alive, Cas. But..." Dean inhales, and then huffs in laughter. "I still am." He leans forward until his forehead rests against Cas's. "Do you think... could you stay with me? Here?"

Cas finds his voice, though his heart pounds like a jackhammer. "Stay?" He licks his lips, and Dean's eyes flicker down and then back up. Eyes bright green and wide, Dean just watches Cas for a long moment. For once, Cas can't take the staring, and he closes his eyes. His heart thunders in his ears, and he feels Dean exhale against his cheek. Through it all, Dean waits. Unlike in life, he's patient, not pushing, just hovering there at the edges of Cas's senses.

At last, Cas opens his eyes. It's complicated, he wants to say. It isn't possible, he should say. I'm an angel, we don't get to choose. All of this flies through his mind, but when he opens his mouth to speak, what he says instead is, "I'll stay with you."

Dean laughs, relieved. Like Mary earlier, he cups Cas's face between his palms, but the intent is far different. Dean stares, drinking in the sight of Cas, really, and then they're kissing.

At once exactly what Cas thought it would be and nothing as he'd expected, kissing Dean is wonderful, terrifying and awe inspiring. Dean tastes of apple pie, with an undercurrent of whisky and peat. His lips move softly against Cas's, who settles into the kiss like it's home.

And it is.


End file.
